Have you ever met someone who is afraid of clowns? There was that one Seinfeld episode. I knew a kid in school who didn't like watermelon. Who doesn't like watermelon? I know we are all individuals and to be stereotypical is bad, but there are generalities that generally speaking we are all subject to.
Hence, the subject of this post. The last several entries have been lesson I have learned (sort of) so today will be an insightful look at one of my views and another lesson.
I would say, generally speaking, that most men would verbally claim to look forward to a weekend alone (the wife away), just the boys (me and the cat). However, just as Seinfeld taught us, some people do not like clowns. In other words, I do not like being at home alone. Now understand, I am not afraid of the dark and the bumps in the night do not bother me because those are normal. However, my wife not being here is not normal. I do not consider myself "whipped" but I am in love. I believe that our marriage is awesome, I love my wife and she loves me. Moreover, I really enjoy her company, much more than the company of any other person I know. Therefore, while I encourage her to go visit her Mother (because we love her mother and she should visit often) I do not enjoy being here alone.
As I sat here today I thought about what was different with her not here. It is hard to put my finger on but, the house is not alive when she is not here. Everything here looks, feels and sounds different. My wife and I know many couples who enjoy time away from each other, I know my wife enjoys her time with her mother but, it is just that, she enjoys her time with her mother not her time away from me. I enjoy her spending time with her mother but not her time away from me. When I hear a couple say they enjoy time apart from each other part of me feels sad for them. When I hear couples say, they enjoy seperattion I realize that they are not completely connected to each other. I accept and admit that I need to be able to survive by myself, and I can do that however, I chose not be by myself, in fact I have determined to commit all I am or will be to my wife. I have counseled with many couples and in doing so I attempt to relay to the men that one of the things we (men) need to do is to convince our wife that we would die for her (As Christ Died for the Church). You cannot be willing to die for someone and yet need or want to have time away from them. One young man told me one time, "I feel like throwing up my hands and giving up" and then told me he was willing to die for his wife. No, he wasn't willing to die for her. How do I know? You can't be ready to quit on a marriage and at the same to be willing to die for it.
One thing I want my sons to know, prove to your wife that you are totally committed to her, meet her needs totally, unselfishly and without reservation. If we as Husbands will strive to "Know" our wife, and not just in a physical way but really know her! Know her fears, desires and dreams our marriage will not fail. So, what is the lesson here?
First, marriage is a serious decision, do not go into it lightly.
Secondly, Love is not just an emotion, it does carry the deepest emotions you will ever sense, but love is a decision. There will be many days when your mate is unlovable and many days you will be as well but that does not change the commitment.
Third, the decision to love someone is for life, no way out, no do over, no other option. Never allow divorce to enter into your thought process.
Now, for those of you who are wondering, "what is he afraid of?" Nothing! Well, lets be honest. The Bible tells us to "Fear Not" (Isa. 41:10, 1John4:18), so I can say that I am not afraid of things, but I have sense enough to be cautious at certain times. And, around Horses is one of those times. For some reason, I have had issues with horses. Now in defense of the horse, I know that they have been fine servants and assistance to us over thousands of years and for that many have enjoyed the wind in their hair as they have galloped across the open range. I however, did not grow up around horses, I have been on a horse successfully, but I also had an issue once. Now I know again that the issue was with me and not necessarily the horse, so to avoid my weakness I choose not to ride.
So, love your spouse with all you have and if you ride a horse do not ride with a clown while eating watermelon and do not ride alone!
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I miss you too my love. I totally understood your blog until that last sentence....I thought...HUH, and had to read it a coupld of times. I thought, where is my joke interpertor.
ReplyDeleteYou must be in the dog house to write a post like that.
ReplyDeleteBut I understand what you're saying. There's no one else in the world I'd rather spend my day with more than Angela. It's funny, but I just never get tired of her. There no such thing as spending too much time with Angela.